One thing that we need before reading this is “we can control our anger”. We have a responsibility to manage our anger. Let’s see what are the interesting options to adopt!
Dealing with anger is possible through behavior modification. Due to the fact that anger is shown in behavior, we need to have a physical reaction in order to control anger. First task is to know what are the body signs that your body goes through in anger. Then make some steps to calm yourself down.
Take a deep breath from your nose, hold on for three seconds and then release air from your mouth. You can do this as many times as you can but focus on how your lungs expand and stomach flattens as you breath. Let your clenched fists open and allow the tight muscles to relax.
There are number of variations for this strategy, you can walk and count three steps with your breathing as you inhale, exhale and hold your breath to let your body relax and muscles less stressed.
Move your body
This is another way to let the pressure release. Just change your place, if you are sitting, stand up and if you are standing walk away from the situation for few situations, change your room and then come back after taking 25 or more steps.
Similarly, you can use variations of this exercise by doing 10 jumps each time you feel that angry energy has pent up within your body.
Mind is a complex organ. It takes up automatic thoughts and flows until you consciously try to block the thoughts or change your view for distraction.
Expressing your thoughts
First method is to throw out your thoughts on a paper, write them down and then discard them. Another way is to talk to someone about how uncomfortable few thoughts are making you even you don’t want to pay attention to them, either they are unnecessary or not rational.
Use coping thoughts
Another way to deal with negative thoughts and angry feelings is to prepare some phrases with different perspectives. Such phrases influence calm feelings and serve as very useful template for most of the time in a day that starts with anger upon minor things. The examples are:
I am letting go of my anger
This situation is different than any other
I will not allow my thoughts and anger to harm me or anyone else anymore
Remember the more focus you give to being fair to yourself and health, the more easier it will be for you to keep yourself on the helpful side and avoid using unproductive thoughts.
3.Take part in self and others
Anger has so many other faces, directions and forms. Some people feel fearful and anxious, guilt or regret following anger. This is not always mean aggression. The purpose may be fighting with insecurities, fears and inner demons. This is very essential to pick out some of the emotions in anger that might be leading to aggressive behavior or avoidance. There may be reasons that are supporting your anger. You can easily cut off that supply with self-observation and turning that experience into less distressed one. For a different kind of answer from yourself, ask each time you feel angry that “what is that scaring me?”
On the other hand, asking others about what they may b seeing in you while they label you as grumpy is helpful as well. Recognizing the different patterns of behaviors through variety of answers is a path to brainstorm different solutions. There may be number of answers that hurt you and countless times the answers may blame you for your behaviors. Don’t be scared to hear anything, do not avoid, face and challenge all the facts, myths and assumptions, find out how many times you or people have evidence about what they say. Remember, subjective bias is always there.
4.Tips & Suggestions List for Constructively Practical Steps In Anger Management
We have will power for impulse control when we feel anger. There are numerous ways to clear anger from within. Let’s try these out one by one
- Start counting to 50 or do it backwards from 50 to 1
- Effectively breathe slowly for few minutes, keep your eyes on time
- Stress levels reduce with exercise like swimming, running, yoga, playing and dance. Stress is one of the most common causes of anger. Make any of these a daily part of routine and make your life less irritable
- Take care of your sleeping hours, soothing temperature, appropriate clothing and cut off the excessive amounts of caffeine and other unhelpful stimulants and habits
- Creativity is another way to join and channel our brain cells into something productive. We have options to choose from art, poetry, mosaic making, photography, quotes collection and painting for this purpose. Let the juices of colors flow in your writing and on paper sheets. Display them proudly and share with others without threatening.
- Listen to music, create some tones, tap fingers on tables and glass
- Groom yourself, apply gloss, brush hair, change hair dye and get a fresh cut, apply nail paints of bold colors that you never applied before, there is no end of preparing yourself into a better version of yourself each day.
- Any change in us is enough to spark a relaxed state and calmer posture for clear thinking and performance.
- Tame your temper by checking on your words simply, use I statements and stay firm on your own agenda. Take some timeout to pause and re think how you want to response someone rather than controlling the situation. Do a little practice every day i.e. I feel angry because I am not served quality food, I think I must be more productive than the last week and I am interested in resolving a conflict to save our relationship.
- Think about how to be cooperative in a situation when socialization is the cause of anger.
- Take a moment off from angry thoughts and just without saying anything allow the other person to involve in the conversation and take the lead.
- Give another person the opportunity to finish their statements before you try to speak. Express your anger when you feel calm.
- Collect some information about how fair is it to directly and clearly putting your frustration in an assertive manner in order to take an attempt in controlling self rather than others and situation.
To conclude, anger is real and this is problem of most of the people in this century. This is shown up regularly and even if you don’t feel confident that you are able to control, get some professional help and regain your confidence in emotion regulation!