Grudges are a symbol of feeling hurt inside. There is no rationale behind blaming others for own feelings. It may result into backfire. Moving on is the best solution while taking responsibility of one’s action rather than building up hate a growing a painful relationship. Here is given, how you can let go of grudges and hurt easily!
1. Forgive yourself
Everything starts with you. If you are the reason you are thinking this way, you might be the mind who thinks another way round. For example, when a friend breaks up with you, you begin thinking about it is because of you, may be you did something wrong. But actually the reality is different and your friend might be thinking of leaving this friendship to save you from being cheated on in the future. When you discontinue blaming yourself for something painful, you will start empathizing with the people around you. Forgiving does not mean accepting the
wrong but reducing the pain that a painful event injects.
2. Focusing on present
What is happening right here, right now? Have you ever pay attention? What are the things resting beside you, in front of you and beneath you? What are some of the voices and sounds your ears are listening to? What are the textures that you can touch feel and differentiate? How rough and smooth they are? How are you breathing today? How are you moving today? What smells are enchanting you? What tastes are in your experience already? What are some of the new experiences you would like to try? Do work on being mindful and aware of your surroundings all the time, stays out of inner world and grudges most of the time in a day.
3. Make decisions
Holding a grudge is a choice. For living a life that is free of all the pain, hurts of past demands commitment. This is not something that can vanish without doing anything and sitting idle. Your conscious attention is all you need for setting your life free of self-harming attitude. All the consequences that you are bearing on your existence is your own decision. You can make this story over by taking another assertive decision about moving on and letting go of all those people who are sucking and feeding on your energy.
4. Explain it all
Sharing and expressing all that you feel is not a sign of weakness. This directly releases the burden and guilt that you are taking up responsibly since a long time. There are so many things that you can practice for the purpose of ventilation including writing off journal on daily basis, communicating with a friend or joining a group counseling session. Make this a gradual but continuous process in your life. Understand that this will not benefit anyone else; this is purely for your happiness.
5. Stop complicating
Complications start when you overthink. Overthinking makes things worse, it will not provide any logical evidence for all that your emotional thinking shows up. Making things simple, on face value and to the point that is being said will help you against the fight with yourself. Your negative feelings usually make you think negative that you are worthless and useless and a failure but actually you are very special. You have unique qualities, different strengths and more than what matters. For feeling bad for what others do will suppress your part in this life. Identify your purpose in life, make your meaning of life and act accordingly.
6. Be flexible and untangled
Pain is just like the other side of a coin where on the opposite side there is happiness to balance your life and emotional states. We experience billions of events and moments in this life and sometimes expose to something very intense that scar our smooth hearts. Still if we did not do anything wrong to someone else it seems very
difficult to heal at first but with the passage of time when you figure out the reasons for seeding and watering grudge, you know how to overcome and solve this issue realistically. And the real issue is inability to choose for letting go and easily moving forward from there.
7. Take the positives
In every stressful situation, there is something good, something rewarding and useful to learn for taking the lesson and moving forward. The moment when you see an experience in the context of the event, walking away sounds like a better choice.
8. Switch the places
Analyzing other person under the logical light it is good to put on their situation on yourself. Try to see what are their point of view and behavior roots. There may be a difference of opinion and understanding that is justifying the negativity for the other person in your heart. Grudge is a natural response originated out of hurt and
anger but hating someone will only continue to hurt you and letting you suffer more and more. Timing is crucial here as well. As you grip on the rope of pain and suffering you will rarely accumulate the strength to forgive, moving on and letting go.
9. Accept now
Acceptance is halfway to heal yourself. This is something you can do with or without forgiving those who hurt you. Waiting for that person to come back and ask forgiveness is not sane. May be they are having their own reason for not apologizing and staying away to prevent you from further hurt. They let their remorse hidden
rather than showing off and facing you again. You need to hear those words for yourself that leads you to the path of healing. Sometimes circling around the same issue and blaming the same person all the time will only tie you within a boundary with resistance to getting away from dwelling around one time event. To Conclude, life must not be defined by pain and misfortunate incidents. We must focus on the healthier side of our personality, peace and happiness. Stop this victimized cycle of thoughts and feelings. Plan solutions and work for constructive
rebuilding of oneself.